Baby Steps

by Neelam Nanwani | Dec 14, 2020 | Soul Words

When I was around 16/17 years old, my dad took me to an astrologer and apart from other things (which I do not remember), the astrologer said (which I clearly remember), is that in my 30s I will be working in public life. In those times public life meant politics or social work or something like that.

So the idea amused me and didnt know what or how. Absolutely hated politics. Yes did venture into social work (working with a suicide prevention center) but found so much politics in so called NGOs as well, that I gave it up. Yes it was in my 30s. Tried this and that but nothing worked.

My career in corporate world peaked. And then a day came when nothing made sense. I had lost all passion. My performance dipped. I was dabbling in spiritual courses, healing modalities and they attracted me way too much. I wanted to bring the spiritual essence into the corporate world. So I tried hands at corporate training and never got an opportunity.

Approached existing training organisations and healers I knew at the time. All wanted to use me and my marketing skills to promote their work under their banner rather than allowing my gifts to be used in the training / spiritual aspects. It didn’t feel right.

If I had to do marketing for others or work for others in the capacity of marketing / promoting their work, why not do it for self ?

And yet the ship only felt sinking and I didnot know a way out. A fear of survival (I was going through a court case at the time and living alone with myself ), home loan, car loan, monthly survival pressure plagued me from taking that leap of faith. The tug of war within brought me the gift of IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and I fell so ill in that year of yes’s and no’s.

A part of me was frozen with fear and a part of me was so suffocated with the corporate world.

It was then that a baby step in the direction of what my soul was screaming for, helped me create some sanity in my inner realm.

I couldnt leave the corporate world (for the reasons I gave to myself – today I know they were just excuses or lack of trust in my self and that things will work out ) but I could bring my essence in to the corporate world.

So it began with creating an altar on my desk with the goddess pic, flowers, crystals and my pendulum.

I would without fear (thank god for that part of me) use the dowsing instrument in my work area for various aspects. Talk with out fear about hypnotherapy, crystals, animal allies, use of pendulum.

The good thing was that I was not afraid to express that part of me into a completely different world who had no idea what I was talking about. So yes, I did invite sarcastic comments, insults, taunts. But the rebel in me did not bother. I boldly allowed myself to be seen in that regard.

I used breathwork when appraisal reviews would be held.I was brazen enough to draw reiki symbols on my diaries and presentations. I advised my boss on his smoking addiction and offered sessions of hypnotherapy. He wanted them free and I boldly declined. Yes thanks to some parts of me who had some real guts and courage and inner strength.

I wrote articles on spiritual subjects for our intranet magazine. I invited curiousity from peers / subordinates about crystals to be used for improving productivity. I even used graphology to analyse my super bosse’s (boss’s boss) handwriting. Boy, I must have had some gusto  :-p

These are some of the baby steps I took. I kept on investing in my learning (rather than on gadgets / clothing / fancy cars or other things). The salary that came in provided the cushion for investing in myself apart from taking care of fixed expenses. So needless to say, there was little saving.

Not once did I have an issue around leave (because intent was so strong to learn).

That is how my ship didnot sink but stayed afloat until I could fully step in 100 %. I saw colleagues and clients on week ends (believe me it was tough as the corporate life does have a tendency to tire you beyond your capacity). I drew boundaries of shutting down my desk SHARP at 6 pm.

This is how I sailed through until I could take a full fledged jump. I taught reiki to a couple of students, helped some colleages with animal ally questions, helped suborniates on their issues.

I also colloborated with the Corporate social responsibility group (CSR) to do a little project with kids within my organisation. The project with kids involved affirmations, breath work, showing movies like secret, graphology for improving confidence and concentration.

It was that project with kids that brough my life force back to me and my health started improving.

And that was 2008 / 09 story.

And here I am in 2019 almost 10 years later. Living my soul’s purpose. Fulfilling what my soul wants me to do.

So, if its possible for me, it’s possible for you, if you have the calling to do so.

You may not be dive in full on, but you certainly have the capacity to take baby steps in the direction of your passion and aspiration.

Just focus on baby steps daily. And the rest will follow.

Aho !