To feel lonely, or to fear being alone, is a natural and often inevitable by-product of deep spiritual growth.
As we awaken and evolve, our perception sharpens, our frequency shifts, and we begin to outgrow old patterns, old relationships, and even parts of our identity. The deeper we go, the more we realize that not everyone around us is meant to continue walking beside us. We begin to feel a quiet, aching distance — not out of judgment, but simply because resonance has changed.
This growing sense of disconnection often reactivates a deeper wound many of us carry: the wound of belonging.
We long to belong — to our families, our communities, our cultures, our Earth. And yet, we often feel like strangers in our own homes, misunderstood in our relationships, and foreign in a world that seems to value conformity over authenticity.
For some, this feeling is even more profound. Those who identify as starseeds or old souls often carry the pain of separation more intensely — a sense of homesickness for a place they can’t quite name. A feeling of not being “from here,” and not knowing where “home” truly is.
But herein lies a powerful spiritual initiation:
We are not here to fit in — we are here to remember who we are.
We are not here to seek belonging externally — we are here to belong to ourselves.
To become whole within.
To alchemize loneliness into sacred solitude.
To transform the ache of separation into the peace of inner union.
This is not an easy path. It is not romantic. It is raw, confronting, and often bittersweet.
But it is real.
The real ones — those who are truly walking the path of truth, healing, and soul embodiment — rarely walk in herds. They walk solo, not out of arrogance, but out of necessity. Their walk is different. Their path and inner rhythm is different.
And yet, in this solitude, a deeper connection emerges — to the Self within.
This is the paradox of the spiritual journey: the more alone you feel, the closer you are to your truth. You are not broken. You are not lost. You are simply remembering.
And the ones who are meant for you — those who speak the same soul-language — will find you when you no longer need to be found.
Until then, keep walking. Alone, if you must.
But never forget — the path of solitude is also the path of soul.
Invitation to Journal
1. Loneliness as a Teacher
What feelings arise when I’m alone? How do I usually respond?
If loneliness were a gift, how might it show up as nourishment?
What important truths has loneliness revealed about me?
2. Transforming Loneliness into Solitude & Self-Connection
Name three things I truly enjoy about my own presence.
What would a perfect, gentle solo day look like from sunrise to bedtime?
In which moments alone do I feel entirely at peace—and why?
3. Belonging to Yourself
When and where do I feel most authentically me?
What does “belonging” mean when I define it on my own terms?
4. Self-Discovery
Who am I beyond all roles and titles? At my core, who lives here?
What practices (meditation, nature walk, rituals) might help me feel grounded and connected?
In what moments does solitude feel non threatening and sacred rather than empty—leading me home to myself?
5. Healing Wounds Around Belonging
What childhood experiences shaped my feeling of being ‘out of place’?
What beliefs about belonging do I still carry—and how might I softly release them?
6. Forgiveness, Integration & Inner Union
Are there parts of me I’ve hidden out of fear, shame, or to fit in?
What would forgiveness look like toward myself, or others, to create more freedom inside me?
How can I call back those lost or hidden parts of me gently back into my everyday life?
Set aside 10–15 minutes per prompt.
Let your pen move; let your thoughts flow—no judgment, no censoring, no editing.
You may revisit these prompts—especially during moments of triggers or when you feel out of place or stuck.
These prompts are a gentle invocation…of you meeting you.
We have just wrapped up our Basic Shamanism course which was a 1-month mentorship this time and I noticed that a lot of the participants seemed impatient and desperate to heal certain core wounds.
The enthusiasm is understandable. Putting our learning into action and “fixing” ourselves is why we learn healing modalities. But I also want to remind everyone that healing does not happen in one day.
We have to remember that we have carried these core wounds for 30/40/50 years now and perhaps even across lifetimes.
These wounds have become our identity.
Hence, the shedding of the skin, peeling of these layers, the journey of UNBECOMING will take time.
Some of us have been working on some core wounds and their different layers for the past 5/10/15/20 years. Every time we dig a different facet/layer shows up.
So it is important to be patient and while some of you are becoming aware of some of your core wounds, it is important to pace out your journey.
Expect miracles but don’t forget to be realistic.
What has taken hundreds of years to be, will take SOME TIME to be UNDONE.
Sometimes this journey of self love or unbecoming takes lifetimes.
If you are in despair and are desperate, are you being a hollow bone?
Could you rather ask, show me the first step – what is it that I need to do right now to transform/transmute this pattern?
What is the lesson that I am ready to embody right now?
And what baby steps can I take to integrate this lesson.
Then focus your energy on integration of these steps in the physical reality.
We all want to heal an issue energetically but we don’t want to feel the pain, process the emotions, change the beliefs, work on learning those lessons and taking ACTIONS IN THE PHYSICAL REALITY.
Not doing the above is like living in a fool’s paradise.
SITTING WITH YOUR PAIN, feeling it fully and processing it is as crucial as desiring to heal it energetically.
Healing has NO SHORTCUTS.
Not everything is about doing a shamanic journey.
Feel it to heal it.
Feeling the call to walk this warrior’s path?
You can reach out to Neelam on 9979901933 for 1-on-1 mentorship. Let’s walk this journey together, consciously and powerfully.
Or, join our WhatsApp group, Empowerment Circles, to stay updated on upcoming free webinars, workshops, and retreats that support your healing and growth.
Don’t forget to choose yourself. Again and again. And the world will follow.
If you feel that going to a healer, therapist or coach once a week – or even twice a month – will resolve all your problems, think again.
Healing is an everyday process. In fact, it is an every MOMENT process.
The healer or facilitator’s role is only 50%. If you cannot take responsibility for your healing on a day to day, moment to moment basis, then no healing will work. It is not the healing method that is the problem, or the coach/facilitator that is the problem.
Only and only YOU ARE.
Until you make yourself a priority, nothing will change.
For example, no journey to heal abandonment will do anything if you choose to continue to abandon yourself in small ways every day.
If we cannot say no to events – even when we have paid for a workshop or have prior commitments – chances are self-love, self-priority and self-honour are zero.
• Abandonment of self WILL attract abandonment from outside. • Betrayal of self WILL lead to betrayal by others. • Lack of loyalty to self WILL attract lack of loyalty to you from outside.
Becoming aware of how you unknowingly betray yourself is the first step. Self-loyalty is a conscious choice we have to make daily, every moment. over and over and over again.
If you don’t choose YOU, no one ever will. It’s as simple as that. Most importantly your children will also learn to abandon themselves. And since we are the ancestors of our future, we create an ancestral pattern and affect 7 future generations.
Every choice matters. Every lack of action is also a choice.
We all are learning to choose ourselves slowly and surely. What matters is the awareness around this. What is important is to be aware of the words that we say. Saying I did not want to go, but HAD to go clearly reflects that we have a fear of being judged, shamed, isolated, ostracised and being alone.
Until we deal with this fear, all spiritual teachings are a waste. Because the spiritual journey WILL put us into situations where we will be tested – to choose ourselves or to abandon ourselves.
When we begin our healing journeys, often, we face situations that deter us from the inner work. We either get distracted or the outer chaos increases.
This happens because our deep-rooted inner resistance shows up in disguise, resisting the very change we say we desire.
When we commit, intend and be in a space of allowance, things begin to align. The work becomes easier and the outer world starts to support us.
Outer challenges are often a projection of our own resistance and shadow. They act as initiations, provoking us to choose ourselves again and again.
When we start digging, gunk gets stirred up and rises to the surface. Issues we thought we had made peace with resurface – to be felt and released.
That’s why healing is not for the faint of heart. It is the path of a warrior.
The question I must ask myself:
• Why am I choosing to abandon myself? • Why am I choosing entanglements, distractions and confusion over clarity and self? • Why am I NOT choosing myself?
Feeling the call to walk this warrior’s path?
You can reach out to Neelam on 9979901933 for 1-on-1 mentorship. Let’s walk this journey together, consciously and powerfully.
Or, join our WhatsApp group, Empowerment Circles, to stay updated on upcoming free webinars, workshops, and retreats that support your healing and growth.
Don’t forget to choose yourself. Again and again. And the world will follow.
Recently, I was invited as a speaker for the International Spiritual Women Scientist Summit.
International Spiritual Women Scientist Summit
A couple of days after the talk, I received a message from one of the participants. She said,
Your session was so powerful. It is because of your voice, not just your teachings, that I kept the video on all along.
This came as a bit of a surprise to me, because historically, my voice has always been judged. People have found me aggressive, arrogant, blunt. They have shamed me for my voice, isolated, rejected and misunderstood me.
So I had developed an imprint that I did not like to hear my own voice. But, that imprint has been slowly changing. And this feedback is so heart-warming that it has made my heart really, really full.
This also makes me realize that all the self work that I have been doing is really paying off.
Many of you may think I must have worked on moderating my tone or taming down my expression in order to be accepted and not judged. But that has not been the case.
Do you know what my real work was and has been?
It was not about changing who I am, but it was about accepting fully who and the way I am.
It was about my connection to nature and allowing it to continue to heal me so that I can be my own true nature. I can be in full acceptance of who I am.
Even today, I find myself judging my own rawness and authenticity. But as time goes by, I keep coming back to my own wisdom that if we have to shine in the glory of our soul, we have to unabashedly continue to be who we are.
And that, in my opinion, is the journey of self love.
If there is one thing that my journey walking the shamanic path has taught me, it is self acceptance.
Shamanism as a way of life teaches us simple tools and ways to help us understand, accept and embody who we are. Most importantly, it teaches us that in this journey, you are not alone. There are a lot of helpers, guides and allies, besides Mother Nature, to help you come into your full glory and splendour.
Are you ready to be unpopular?
Are you ready to shine in the true glory of your own soul?
If yes, then my medicine or my wisdom and teachings are for you.
We begin with a 1-month Foundations of Shamanism on 21st June 2025. To read more about the mentorship, click this link. Or WhatsApp me on 9979901933 to register.
In some of us pain often leads to numbing or masking of the Self. When it feels too much to feel pain or when the underlying belief is that pain makes us weak, we often distract from feeling it. We hide behind our ambitions and addictions. We use several distractions to deflect from feeling it.
We use our courage to project that we are brave and that we are letting go and moving on. We project that we are leading busy, active, happy lives. We find our anchor in being busy or in other distractions.
Source: Facebook
In this case, we may often go about living our life as if nothing is wrong and every thing is alright. This often comes across to everyone as being healed and moving on. It may not really be so and it may only be an illusion that every thing is alright.
Just like everything and everyone else, pain too, needs an “acknowledgement.” It may take time but it often finds its way through.
Sooner or later pain does find its way and screams out loud so that we may pay attention. Sometimes it strikes as mental illness, sometimes as physical symptoms and sometimes as a different crisis like an accident or some other life threatening situation or a deep personal loss.
Sometimes it projects as strife with family members. In many cases, our children often project our own buried stuff. If we pay attention, we see the presence of our own pain in some of their behaviours or even in their rebellion. Sometimes pain screams through our outbursts.
Pay attention to what your body is saying.
Then there are some of us, who feel everything quite intensely. Pain cuts us deep and tears us open. Feeling it and processing it feels like a never ending roller coaster ride. Often it breaks us or leads us to a deconstruction. Rebuilding from there, feels more energy consuming, tiring and simply impossible.
Because of the intensity of the pain, we may unconsciously wall our hearts so that we may not be hurt again. We block our receiving. And, we might keep circling back to the pain over and over again inspite of numerous healing attempts. The rebuilding feels scary and here we may find our anchor in the safety of the known, in this case our pain.
Pain has the capacity to not just break our hope and spirit, but it also has the capacity to open our hearts and break down our walls, if we allow. In this case, we realise that pain is a messenger and it has a lot to teach us. It draws our attention to aspects of self we tend to bury, mask, deny or ignore because of fears – fears which spring through our upbringing or past imprints.
There may be some of us who may allow pain to be an initiation. I am not saying that pain is or should be a pre-requisite for growth or spiritual evolution and healing. But pain can be a mirror reflecting deepest aspects of the self – aspects of the self we are afraid to own, look at and dive into.
This approach to pain that it is not here to destroy us but actually reconstruct us may take a lot of patience, courage and inner resilience. It may feel tempting to look the other way than understanding its wisdom and work towards integrating and embodying it.
A deep acceptance of what is, in spite of volatility and uncertainty, becomes the need of the self. Deep pain, often propels us towards deep surrender. In this case, the person often finds his/her anchor in the Self and in the Divinity and Magnificence of all that is.
What is your anchor? Where do you naturally levitate towards?
I was invited by Karan & Shokhi of the Happily Whatever After podcast on their episode of Sacred Connections. In the conversation, we dived deep into the power of spirituality to transform relationships. I shared insights into why we often attract the “wrong” partners and how this is linked to unresolved patterns within ourselves. You can listen to part 1 of the podcast on YouTube here.
