Say No to Breadcrumbs – Bring the orphan child home

by | Feb 16, 2022 | Soul Words

The process of unconditional love and the lesson to learn unconditional love is or can be the toughest lesson to learn.

When we talk about unconditional love, we often imply it for others. But, if we are on the path of self real- I – zation, then we cannot forget the Self or I in the process.

And so, in my understanding, the aspect of uncondtional love applies to one’s own self as much as it applies to others.

While being in a state of unconditional love for others, if we feel violated or abused in the process, then drawing boundaries and standing tall for oneself implies unconditional love for the self.

Unconditional love doesn’t imply letting others walk over you.

Hence, unconditional love with boundaries while honoring the self and being in that space for self – first and foremost, is a tricky balance most of the times.

Unconditional love doesn’t imply being a martyr for the other or saboteur for the self.

Drawing this balance, requires us to be in our center, in our heart space so we can do and be from there rather than old imprints, past hurts, exploitations or wounds.

The need to be needed, the need to be accepted and acknowledged often makes us over strech our sense of being and yet at the same time the anger for being violated, not being seen rears its ugly head.

This dichotomy is often treachorous as it hides the real self, masks the soul’s lessons and often endeavors to trick us in unique ways.

It is like a trickster tricking us to show the other is loving us while we might just be a beggar picking up every crumb being thrown our way.

While we learn to say no to the crumbs being thrown our way, mercilessly being naked and present to what stirs within, we can offer unconditional love to the orphan child within.

He/she is waiting for us to receive it, hold it, love it, accept it. The orphan child is waiting to be seen/ held/ loved and re-united with our SELF.

The orphan child within weeps the pain of the adult self too. When the adult self becomes present to this pain, and learns to parent the self through various ways, it is then that the pain of the child self is shed and it is then that the child self feels safe to return home.

Is your inner child weeping? What are its joys and sorrows? Is it caged by your inner critic?

Which are some of the ways you could connect to these parts within you?

Could you sing to your child self? Could you eat a meal with her/him ?

Could you hold your child self’s hand and take it for a walk?

Could you teach it to marvel at sunrise, sunset, stars or the moon?

Could you swing with your child self?

Could you write a letter to him/her?

Could you remind him/her, how far along you both have come?

Could you ask ur child self what brings it joy? What are its needs?

Spending daily some time with our child self keeps our innocent wise self alive and makes the adult self be more present too.

Do introspect, try and share.

Betrayal by primary care givers

by | Jan 3, 2021 | Soul Words

Every man who feels disrespect or anger towards or violated by a / any woman, has a responsibility to heal his own inner feminine emanating from his own wounded masculine.

Any woman who feels disrespect / angst/ frustration/ anger towards or violated by a / any man has a responsibility to heal her own wounded masculine emanating from her own wounded feminine.

It is not a dance of genders anymore. It is a dance of one’s own inner feminine and inner masculine.

Begin with the hurt you have felt as a child and as an adult through your mother for healing your inner wounded feminine and the hurt that you have felt through your father for your inner wounded masculine.

There are many layers to healing this aspect but unless we address these fundamental aspects, our relationship with the world and with our own self IS NOT going to improve.

What we disown, get rid of, finds its way through in some way or the other and hence no matter how painful this process may be, (and yes it is indeed a long one and not a one session or event thing), the sooner we acknowledge it and begin the process of peeling off, the sooner will be there birth.

It is ok to be angry with our pain (care) givers and it is ok to move away from them for the sanctity of our own being.

However, ultimately, it is crucial to GROW UP and face the hurts and pains they have caused us consciously and unconsciously and stop going back to them for validation and approval.

This is not an easy journey as a child who has felt unloved through her / his childhood needs a tone of acknowledgement and validation and who else can he / she look to except his own roots.

For, if it cannot be from our roots, then the whole foundation feels shaken and entire life feels fake.

This pain can numb us, freeze us, make us cold or indifferent to the suffering of others or make us violent and absent to the needs of others. Not to mention, a total disconnection from one’s own TRUE SELF.

This is a pain which is soooooooooo crucial and such an important aspect and crux of healing for the entire humanity and without addressing this, whatever esoteric heights we may conquer will be a sheer waste.

Wounded parents give birth to a child which then becomes a part of a wounded family who then grows up to be a wounded adult who then creates a wounded atmosphere for self and others.

And

Quite unknowingly so.

And that is just the sad part of it all. The wounds that we run away from, we unconsciously cause in others until the day we seek to deconstruct our own self totally and allow the painful death of the self.

A rebirth is possible only when we allow this death within and without.

A crossover awaits. Will we allow ??